drastic time zone differences alone are starting to drive me a little nuts, although the ritual of post- and pre- bedtime conversations does encompass a saccharine sentimentality, that i like to carry with me through my waking hours. today marks the first week we've been apart: and it's all falling apart, for me. i cannot even deal with a week of your absence, what more a year? this is just me, being pathetic.
i cannot explain the tears: this is nothing like me, really! i am usually a boy, rational in fullness. a fort around my heart, so that i cannot be hurt or moved. now, i am but an operation running on memories of starbucks, a skyline, and sweet conversation. the sneak-glances at you - your face half-lit by the flickering, changing scenes of red cliff. a cheeky grin across my face by this time! or mayhaps it's remembering the ride home, and that light pat on my back you sprang on me, right before i got off, that summed it all up, said it all: tag, you're it!
when i see my pc, i find myself hoping he thinks white-spottie red undies are cute. before hoping even more that he's got them on right then. maybe, despite the stretch that it is, you might have hidden yourself in mandai. and then i would know to find you. and you know i would, if you had. surely.
you tagged me, and it's my turn now! but you're an ocean, and volcanoes away from me.
i've never slept this soundly.
tomorrow, i will awake - hopefully, to you.
and these words, i will say:
I love you. tag, you're it.
1 comment:
It's been a week since this great change in my life. You already know what that change is! It is the difference between night and day; meeting you was, for me, the bright and shining dawn after a turbulent, stormy night. And what a glorious sunrise that was!
Since I've arrived here, I've been eagerly checking my computer and phone every morning for your messages! And, without fail, you never disappoint. Each morning when I wake up, I gingerly reach across the bed to the space I've saved for you, hoping against all hope to someday find a warm hand gripping mine back.
Now, it's nighttime, and we chat about dogs over the internet. I imagine you in your uniform, a strapping and noble gentleman trapped in a meagre post unworthy of your attention. My heart beats faster - no, it flutters - at once speeding up and slowing down at the thought of you while I get ready for bed.
Each sunrise and sunset is another day gone by since we met that fateful evening... and one less day before I get to see, smell, and hold you again. Our reunion will be so much the sweeter for the long and arduous anticipation we have endured. And this time, let us both have no regrets!
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